12 Oct 2014

12 Oct 14 - Launch Of The New IQ30 Bird Club

Following the recent voting success in Clacton for UKIQP, the political wing of the IQ40 club, the IQ40 Club is pleased to announce today the launch of the new IQ30 Club. This will be a Bird Club for  supporters of UKIQP. So if you are fed up of all those Foreign Birds coming over here & getting all the attention, then this is the Bird Club for you. The rules are simple. You will be only be allowed to tick British Birds. Some are obvious such as Blackbirds & Robins. 
Blackbird: Juvenile. Clearly no problem ticking this resident Blackbird. This Studland Blackbird is 100% pukka as it was clearly born here (31 May 14)
Robin: Nearly all Robins are fine, but beware the greyish backed European Robins on the East coast in the Autumn, as they won't be tickable. Old Harry (4 Sep 14)
But other British Birds you can Tick are those which have long winters abroad like the Swallows & House Martins before coming home again to breed.
House Martin: These bred here, but like to have long holidays abroad in the winter & they are still tickable. Studland (6 Sep 14)
Also the British breeding Warblers such as Chiffchaffs & Whitethroats are obviously tickable. After all who doesn't enjoy their Winter holidays in the sun. 
Chiffchaff: IQ30 Birders will obviously have to ensure they aren't wrongly ticking a Siberian Chiffchaff as these will not be tickable. Studland (7 Oct 14)
Whitethroat: Clearly tickable, especially as this was born here. Old Harry (4 Sep 14)
But you will not be able to tick those European Birds that come here without permission and should be sent back to Europe. So out go the Redwings, Fieldfares & Waxwings which come over here in the Winter & eat our British Bird's berries.
Waxwing: Waxwings wouldn't be tickable as they are a European species that only come here to exploit our berries and not contribute anything. Poole (12 Dec 10)
But don't worry about not being able to Tick these common Winter visitors the spokesman for the IQ30 Club said. You can sign up now for one of our exclusive IQ30 Summer Tours, where in addition to the Scottish Specialities, we will take you to our special & secret sites, where you will be able to Tick breeding Snow Buntings, Redwings and Fieldfares. These trips will be timed to see the British chicks, as well as their British parents. You will all be expected to buy & wear our special IQ30 blindfolds so you cannot reveal our secret sites. He finished by saying they double up as exclusive bandanas, in a desperate attempt to woo back former members of the IQ40 club.
Fieldfare: Winter Fieldfares won't be tickable, but our special Tours go to our secret & exclusive sites where they breed & all Tour participants will get a certificate to prove they have a tickable Fieldfare on their IQ30 Club lists. This Fieldfare photographed at Dungeness wouldn't be tickable (8 March 14)
The IQ30 spokesman also said you won't be allowed to Tick the gaudy European Birds that arrive here every year without permission. He said we will made clear statements of what can & can't be ticked. For example, Bee-eaters are clear European & can't be ticked. But the Isle of Wight 8, referring to the 8 babies that were born in the UK are fully tickable. He confirmed their parents are not countable. The beaming smile on his face indicated he clearly has this major IQ30 Club Blocker on his list.
Bee-eater: Gaudy adults like this would not be tickable, although the spokesman said the Isle of Wight 8 would be fully tickable. Beit She'an, Israel (12 April 14)
For years UKIQP have argued that these European Birds should be caught by Ringers. Once caught they should be quickly bagged and put on the next Eurostar before being released. Their leader, Mr Farfetched, says they will hold the balance of power after next year's Bird Elections and the old parties such as BUFO (British Union For Ornithology) and BOT (British Ornithology Trust) have had their day. After all he argued, how can you trust organisations that are named after the Common Toad or rude parts of the body, to represented today's Birders. We are the organisation of the future and we will send these Foreign Birds back, suitably marked with a special ring to show they have been deported. That way if they return, it will be obvious they won't be tickable.
Subalpine Warbler: This is a classic species that would be deported if caught by a ringer according to the UKIQP manifesto. Velji Do, Croatia (5 May 14)
The IQ30 spokesman announced they were pleased to hear the news that following the successful campaign to keep Scotland part of the UK, by the Bigger Together team, that Scottish Birders realised the threats to their lists and voted to keep those English & Welsh Birds on their lists.
Corn Crake: Scottish Corn Crakes are still fully tickable now Scottish Birders voted for the Bigger Together campaign in the recent Scottish Birders referendum organised by SNIP, the Scottish Nationalist Independence Party. They wanted to drastically snip the Lists of Scottish Birders & stop them ticking English & Welsh Birds. Balranald (4 June 12)
Critics have been quick to respond how will we know what we can Tick. This has already been full thought out by the President of the IQ40 Club, and new IQ30 Club, said their spokesman. He went only to say short term visas will be introduced to allow the American Birds to be ticked. The President will also judge which of these birds will get visas allowing them to be ticked & which will be extended to give them automatic rights to be ticked on future Year Lists.
Mourning Dove: This American visitor would be is likely to get a visa allowing it to be ticked. But it's possible that being on a distant island, a visa might be ruled out: depending on whether members of the IQ30 Club committee travelled to add it to their IQ30 Year List. Rum (30 Oct 13)
He said some of the British Wildfowl will become fully tickable: Black Swans and Bar-headed Geese which were clearly born here will be eligible for ticking. He said BUFO need to allow these species. But he said with a smile, clearly enjoying his own joke, the organisation was old & warty and he is looking forward to the day it croaks for the last time.
Bar-headed Goose: British born Bar-headed Geese would be added to the IQ30 List. Bharatpur, India (27 Jan 14)
So join the IQ30 Club now as we have a special offer at the moment, with a 50% discount on the membership fees for members of UKIQP or for subscribers to the Daily Birding Mail.

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